PROFESSIONALISM, WHERE ART THOU?

So usually this is the point where we sum up the season. Knock out a number of clichés about how it was a wonderful season; how we shouldn't judge it all by the play-off matches against the old enemy; and how we'll improve on it next season. But instead we're caught in a shitstorm that, if nothing else, means TSLR can't go on their summer holiday just yet.

The club isn't exactly revelling in good national newspaper headlines right now - gone are the days we used to bemoan a column inch in the side bar complete with the obligatory 'Brighton rocks' headline. Instead, showered with images of accused voyeurs and headlines screaming ‘defecators’ - only now, it seems, do media outlets use the correct re-branded Albion logo - we are caught in a continual world of embarrassment. Overall, it's not making the club - and those charged with running it - look great.

The Gus situation is a bizarre one. From what I understand GP's resignation was tabled, and then we suspended him for a supposed breach of contract in his hideous post-match Palace comments. Over the past week, the club is still to prove these breaches. But there are too many unknowns to draw proper conclusions in the GP situation. We may never know the truth. The point is that the club is not looking professional, and that was reflected in the disappointing accounts Albion published earlier this year.

We always joked in the Withers sunshine that the antiquated Albion's business operations would struggle to adapt to a threefold increase in attendances. But I don't think we ever entered the possibility that they could have struggled quite this much. If, with near sell-out crowds at Falmer, we are still looking financially eye brow raising, then what hope do we have if we have a season of underperformance? The ticket office alone regularly fails to reach the professional standards expected of me in my day job, or expected of me when I ring up the club as a customer.

We have unprofessionalism at all levels of the club it seems. The playing staff who brush all too often with the law; the manager who breaches his contract; the security staff who allow access to dirty protesters: the catering staff who dawdle; the marketing department that doesn't liaise with said suspended manager, and goes bat-shit crazy for atmosphere-creating gimmicks; the chief executive fixated on customers - Barber’s email last night, whilst welcome, failed to apologise directly to the fans for the defecation incident. None of it is good public relations.

It's embarrassing. To me. To Albionites. But mainly to Sir Bloom. If I invested over £100m in any company, I'd expect a higher standard of performance. Certainly off the pitch.

PRE-MATCH OPERA AND OTHER ALBION WOES

Regardless of the result on Monday, the non-playing staff at Brighton and Hove Albion let the fans down in a way that I struggle to shake off unlike something as trivial as Albion losing.

The pre-match circus laid on by the club was nothing short of embarrassing, and an undignified way to generate support for a club like ours. Such was the lack of class that surrounded events prior to kick off, it sullied our fine stadium and disrespected our fans. 

In a programme of plastic antics devised by club officials, they predictably only fanned the flames that led to Palace’s fine away fans generating the passion and noise needed to turn the match in our bitterest of rivals favour from kick-off.

The more I thought about Palace fans jibes about our new support in the lead up to the match, the more I felt offended by their lack of understanding of the heinous situation that befell the club in the mid to late 90s. Palace, a club that have emerged ultimately unscathed from decades of boardroom mismanagement, had the affront to judge us without a single thought about the context of fandom at our football club since 1997. The fools, I thought, that they question our heritage as if we’re MK Dons. It could so easily have been them playing at a local athletics track in the Fourth Division, our similarities as clubs, as supporters, are in my opinion one of the main drivers for this continued feud.

This rivalry, at a point never more bitter, and at  a meeting never more important, marked one of the most important games in the history of the football club. This wasn’t just a Play-off semi-final, the whole thing was amplified by the opposition. Let’s be honest here, our progress in the league this season has been fantastic and no fan would be ashamed to miss out on Wembley this year. Upset, of course, but not ashamed.

The Palace element gave it so much more. The dynamic that they brought to the table is almost impossible to find in anything else; everything else would be mere nostalgia, a touch of colour to an already impressive event.

This match though would be different. It is the ultimate match, the clashing of two upwardly mobile teams, with fans who, in recent surveys, sit in the top 10 of football rivalries in England amongst Black Country derbies or century old Lancashire feuds, Steel cities and Tyne and Wear warzones. It matters, we all know this.

Although maybe some don’t. Maybe some people within the whitewashed halls of The Amex Stadium thought it’s no big deal, that they needed to raise the atmosphere in other ways, that those customers wouldn’t be that clichéd twelfth man without some help.

Some help, yes, good idea. Some help for the 27 thousand people who proudly wear a seagull on their chest, some help to sing some songs, some help make our award winning stadium look ‘impressive’, some help to clap our hands. Some help to create an atmosphere in a Play-off Semi –final, in which we are favourites, against Crystal Palace Football Club.

Palace fans call us plastic, the club didn’t get the joke. To enforce this most unlikable of reputations the club physically made us plastic, thousands of frankly pathetic ‘clackers’ to hold up when the teams came out. ‘NOW’ screamed the big screens, the club being explicit in telling you what they want you to do, and when they want you to do it. I can only guess that the club shop were devastated that the pictures of such a scene can’t be flogged to fans such is the association with the subsequent football match.

They were multi-use though, these vile instruments.  You can ‘clack’ them of course, making the stadium sound like a … well, I don’t know. Not like a football match, anyway.

The most horrific aspect of these satanic sheets though was the patronising song sheet on the back. Yes, we’d seen them before at Withdean, and yes even TSLR had produced some GOSBTS hand-outs at an away game nearly 5 years ago, but at least we didn’t change the words to the song.

In my opinion people shouldn’t have to sing along anyway, there should be no perverse kudos with knowing all the words, the fact that you’re at an Albion match is far and away enough proof of your fandom.  Fans should be able to hum along, or do the der-der-der version if they wish, there’s no problem there.  The club created something akin to a North Korean military rally, sing in time, make sure you get the words right, concentrate on that instead of the imminent football match.

That wasn’t the worst bit though. The worst bit was the singer.  Even then, I can handle the GOSBTS bit. I should add though that our famous county anthem is a marching song, sung by working class servicemen from all over the country since the last century. Normal men and women, just like us, it’s not fucking Nessun Dorma and never will be.

But I can handle that, whatever. What I can’t handle, and was perhaps the single worse non-football related thing I have ever seen at this club that I love so dear, was said opera singer belting out a Westlife song – I repeat, a Westlife song – before the teams came out. I appreciate that ‘You Raise Me Up’ may be quite rousing as a soundbed to a soppy story on the X-Factor, but when that note change came in after a little pause and the songstress started approaching* the poor sods in the WSL a little part of me died inside.

I never thought, after the infamous and internationally respected blood and guts support that we Albion fans have put in to this club over the past 15 years, that the club would feel it appropriate to soil such an event with that sort of display. I am astounded that the club, at a time when in fact we need to generate a more visceral and organic kind of atmosphere at The Amex, chose that farce instead.

It’s time to have a think about how we, as fans, regain and control our matchdays. It’s time to unify, collaborate and create. It’s time to sing your heart out even when we’re not doing so well, and it’s time to let everybody know, and dare I say it the football club too, that we’re no plastics so don’t ever treat us like we are.

*We have been told that the opera singer had to move because the sprinklers came on! Fantastic.

LTD EDITION PLAY-OFF SPECIAL ISSUE

A very limited edition Play-off Special TSLR has gone to the printers.  We can only sell it at The Amex on Monday night, so we recommend you pre-order your copy now via our website to secure your copy.

As usual they are priced at a miniscule £1, plus £1.50 for postage and packaging.

These will sell out very quickly, so go to the TSLR Shop by clicking HERE and grab yourself a copy pronto.

END OF SEASON SURVEY: QUESTION 9

Question 9 of TSLR’s end of season survey wasn't included in TSLR048. Why, we hear you ask. Well, we ran out of space. So, having put the play-off special to bed (it’ll only be available at Falmer on Monday night as we’ll be too busy drinking and attempting to avoid trouble in Croydon tomorrow), we use the blog to hark back to when we asked for 'your hero and / or Scott McGleish (villain) of this season?' To decipher exactly who wrote them you will find a list of all our questionnaire contributors in the paper and digital versions of TSLR048. We wonder how many people would avoid picking Barnsey as their villain now he’s returned to the team, banged in a couple of goals, and made it through a whole match without assaulting the referee.

Bridcutt hero, Barnes zero // Hero = Ulloa Villain = Notts Forest defender who should've been red carded at the Amex // Villain of the season has to be Barnes and his behaviour on the pitch getting sent off twice and his inability to score the goals that we needed before Ulloa's arrival // Liam Bridcutt / El-Hadji Diouf // Hero = Ulloa - whadda guy!!! Pantomime Villain's = CrystLOL Palace // Got to be Ulloa! // Villain: Lewis Dunk for the red card at Selhurst NOT the other thing... Hero: Ulloa for giving us hope... // CMS ‘cos he's my son's hero and he didn't leave before he got to see him play in Feb. Villain - that Independent journalist who wrote the bollocks article about Gus to Reading being a done deal thereby stoking the flames // Hero: Ulloa, Villain: Barnes.

Hero - Calde. Villain - Mark Bright // Ulloa (we assume hero then) // Vicente - when he is on the ball, nothing finer in a Brighton shirt. Barnes - tripping the ref up and seven game ban. What an idiot! // Taricco's comments on Reading were heroic. On the pitch Bruno has been heroic. Dave Jones is a clear contender for villain, however I have a growing dislike for fans who use cameras and phones during matches, hate on Dicker and consider us a Premiership team // Hero - Bridcutt closely followed by Wayne Bridge // Ulloa // Heron Ashley Barnes, without his trip of the ref, he would probably be in the team. Villain, Ashley Barnes for tripping the ref // Hero has to be Bridcutt, best player in the squad by far. Only one villain for me and that’s Ashley Barnes // Hero. Vicente. When he plays I see magic. Villain. The refs with dark agendas.

Got to say Barnes. Has got unwarranted stick this year then goes and does himself no favours at all // Villain - as of now, Casper, for Forest. But, overall, Freedman // Liam Bridcutt, he has been the hardest working player all season // Hero Gus Poyet Villain can't think of one // PIG // Bridcutt for hero. Villain has to be Murray // Ulloa / FFSMurray // Spanish Dave – hero; Ashley Barnes temper - villain // Wayne Bridge, classiest defender for the Albion since Lawro // Hero-Ulloa Villain-Zaha // Gus and Barnes // Hero has to be Stephen Dobbie for taking his embarrassing act of being a striker 45 miles north. Villain is a dead heat: Ashley Barnes' red cards were brainless even by his standards. Colin Kazim-Richards hardly covered himself in glory on his return to Sussex // Hero: Leo Ulloa No specific villain // Hero: Spanish Dave. Villain: Dobbie.

Hero? Wayne Bridge, different class. Villain? Gus, obviously... #underachievers // Inigo Calderon. Not sure, don't like to be negative // Ashley Barnes for both. Villain - he is crap, also his sending off for tripping the ref. Hero - without him we got 7 points from 9 difficult games and the same goes for the current run, so thank you for being banned my hero // Greg Halford for trying to put Will Buckley into the East Stand // Hero - Kuszack easy // Villain would be the Blackburn goalkeeper, although he's more of a pantomime villain. The way he moved the ball before the penalty and then refused to give it back was equal parts comedy and villainy. You could select someone obvious like Ulloa as hero of the season, but for me it's got to be Kuszczak. The number of games he's saved us in, making near superhuman saves, means he's got to be the hero // Ulloa for giving us hope.

Ulloa - great signing // Hero: Bridcutt/Dave/Ulloa/TK Zero: Dobbie. Useless // Kusczack has kept us in so many games. It has been great to feel confident about our keeper // Scott McGleish // Hero - Ulloa for coming in in January and already being our second top scorer, and for his two goals against Palace. Villain - Murray for showing us what we're missing // Kuszczak is my player of the season. I suppose Zaha and Bolasie and the number of penalties they've 'won' this season has been a source of irritation // Hero: Liam Bridcutt (man crush). Scott McGleish: Ian Holloway! (Absolute CJTC) // Hero: Slowly becoming Ulloa. Villain: Glenn Murray and always will be // Tomasz Mirosław Kuszczak - as a 'keeper myself, I have to go for the Pole - he's been very consistent (apart from one aberration) and has been responsible for us gaining many points // Villain is Ashley Barnes - we were down to two fit strikers so he got a seven game ban for tripping the ref, and he didn't even do that properly.

Don’t worry, we know what you’re thinking. How can TSLR use our words for their paper publication and this online article when they haven’t even sent out our free survey completing pin badge yet. These are en route, we were just waiting for the end of the season. That means you may get your badge sometime during the 2013-14 season.

TSLR048: STILL AVAILABLE TOMORROW

It looks set to be yet another glorious visit to Falmer tomorrow - we'll be in our usual spot (pictured above) flogging TSLR048. The clever ones amongst you will notice how that catalogue number refers to April's edition of the fanzine. When we shoved this issue together in early April, we were always hoping for a play-off special, assuming we'd remain in the hallowed top six. But we've always been aware of Albion's past indiscretions so the idea of planning to bring out a play-off special during the normal season seemed like an unwise move - a bit like Fran Sandaza talking to that 'taxi driver'.

How wrong we were. With Albion 2.0 (or should we say, under Gus), we should know better than to think the players could mess it up with six games to go - that's Palace's job these days. As a result, we will still be flogging the fanzine that most of our fans (not customers) have already got. If you haven't yet picked up an issue full of  now unnecessary jottings asking 'will we or won't we make the play-offs', then why not pick up a copy for a solitary £1 tomorrow, and smile wryly - safe in the knowledge we have already made it on the short play-off road to Wembley. If you've already bought one, we'll still be flogging our badges for £1 as well! See you for the (hopefully) first of many parties.

STAND OR FALL, BUT LOOK THE PART

The sun is out, and our season unusually extended into mid-May, so what better time than now to throw aside that dirty fleece you've been wearing since '96 and buy one of our fantastic Good Old Sussex By the Sea t-shirts.

Hand screen-printed in Brighton, our exlcusive tees proved to be the most sought-after Christmas present in our fair county (and more-so for our exile fans around the UK), but alas weather has not allowed us Albioninos to show off our guns and give the clobber a good airing.

So don't hesitate now, get over to our secure online shop HERE and pick one up for a measly 11 quid. We can think of nothing better than sporting one of these with a cold pint of Stella on the beach after work.

We've sold out of L and XL but will have more in stock very soon.

CLASSY PUBS IN YORKSHIRE

Each month we get a variety of TSLRites to pen a few words for the reviews section in the upcoming issue of TSLR. For our play-off special (catalogue number as yet unspecified), we are playing around with the format a little bit - we've never done a May issue of the fanzine you see. So, when a little reportage arrived about our Yorkshire visit last weekend, we thought we better throw the words up on the blog. A special mention should got to Berkshire - the scribe herewith - who has not missed an Albion match home or away since we moved to this little stadium on the edge of the Sussex countryside known to you and I as Falmer. Not only that but Berkshire lives in, er, Berkshire. Our biggest regret in not going to Leeds this year was in missing  our favourite local pub (pictured above).

With the usual TSLR crew saving their cash for the play-offs, it was left to me to turn in a few words on an eventful Albion win at Leeds. Elland Road has become a lucky ground for the Albion of late, turning in a draw and a Navarro winner over the last two seasons.

This season was to provide another corker with a good away crowd turning out and in fine voice. The early play was with the Albion inspiring another Buckley goal. The only question on this goal was if Ashley Barnes got the assist or it was a poor Leeds back pass. Closer inspection of the replay showed definite movement towards the ball that showed more intent than the recent Bolton trip showed on the single grainy fan webcam shown all over the interweb. A fine team goal. Barnes was involved again shortly afterwards taking a fine lesson from Spanish Dave in the overacting department forcing a swift red for Austin. This incident seemed to inspire Brian McDermott's side as they began to press the Albion - coming increasingly close to levelling with 'Fat Balotelli' Diouf at the heart of much of Leeds play, running rings around Marcos Painter.

Painter's performance resulted in a substitution for Calderon for the second half and his contribution yielded another soft straight red card for a pull in the box to add some play-off blues and the inevitable Leeds penalty scored by 'Fat Balotelli'. For a few seconds the Leeds fans cheered as Diouf decided to wind up the Costa-ites with an ill-judged gesture at the Albion faithful that resulted in another red card and the teams playing out the remainder of the game 9 vs 10.

With Leeds disadvantaged again the Albion looked to capitalise and shortly after Vicente uncharacteristically missed a sitter up popped Leo Ulloa to head a bullet into the back of the net sending the crowd into play-off qualifying celebration and booming “WHO’S THAT MAN FROM ARGENTINA…” chants.

Berkshire

"THE NORTH STAND WAS NOISY, THEY’D BOLLOCK EVERYBODY"

Back in the early days of The Seagull Love Review - September 2008 to be precise - we sent long time contributor Jerry the Sport to interview Paddy McIlvenny (11/11/24-06/03/13). Having read about his recent passing, we thought it entirely appropriate to replicate that interview on the blog - McIlvenny discussed the manager, players and the Goldstone Ground from when he played for Albion. Posting this seemed like an entirely brilliant thing to do this morning - marking this excellent Albion season by praising those who played for us in the olden days and are sadly no longer with us. That was until we spent all of today editing it - a concept we've realised today that we hadn't really considered way back in TSLR002, it turns out.

Paddy McIlvenney played for the Albion between 1951 and 1955. A wing-half, he was signed by manager Billy Lane (1951-61) and played with the nucleus of the Albion’s first title-winning team. Unfortunately an injury sustained in a game in 1954 sidelined him from the team and he moved to Aldershot before the glory season of 1957/58. I met Paddy last month and we talked all things Albion, casting his mind back over 50 years it was a pleasure to share time with him and hope his words, written here, create the same sense of nostalgia amongst those reading this as they did to me. 

TSLR: You may well have been part of that Championship winning team if it hadn't been for your injury, what happened, it’s reported that you broke your leg? 

PM: I ripped the cartilages, I didn't break it. During a game, I just twisted on the ground. I went to turn and I turned more than I reckoned on turning so it’s taken out across my knee and straightaway I’m off and Joe Wilson the ME (physio) worked on me. Joe was Glen Wilson’s brother. 

TSLR: What are your memories of Billy Lane?

PM: Nobody liked him. 

TSLR: They didn't like him? 

PM: Nobody liked him. No, he was a bastard. He wasn't well thought of, although his work record was good. He went to Southend, everyone said, why did he go to Southend? He’s got Brighton. (The) reason was probably more money which (meant) everything then. He was a crook, everything he did, you looked at and thought, aaaggghh, what’s he on? What’s happening? He’s doing something; you were always worried that he was pulling a stroke on you. He tried to cut my wages following the injury and so we couldn't agree terms and I went to Aldershot. Billy Lane was a bad man as far as looking after players and things, he was always pulling strokes that suited him. He was a poor manager.

TSLR: And the players?

PM: Steve Burtenshaw was a very effective player, he was big; and usually big players get a bit cumbersome but Steve held control. He could play at wing-half and he could still tackle well and make a pass and back the pass up. Des Tennant was small and fat, a lovely bloke. He was hard, he was small and he was fat but the fat was held well (and) he could move with it, he was very fast. 

Dave Sexton had great knowledge of football, and he had his own mind about football. In the team he was the number one man when he was out there on the playing pitch. He was very, very good. He was very keen and always in the play; you’d look up and you would see him somewhere. It wouldn't be a hard pass to make. At half time, he’d give a little lecture, he spotted things that others didn't. 

Roy Jennings was a lovely player, a centre half, big and strong, and he did his job - he would get up higher than anybody else. He was a good player in his position, a very good player. Peter Harburn was underrated. He was a centre forward and it was hard to beat him. He would go forward and whack a player out of his way without any bother at all. Very strong player. Ken Whitfield was a good centre half, but he went to Torquay. He shouldn't have been let go, too good a player, but they let him go; they accepted money for him and it probably earned him just a little above his wages. He probably made himself 500 quid with this move and that’s how players were rewarded then… mind you, it’s no good me arguing 'cause I was making more money than any of them.

TSLR: Why was that? 

PM: I was beginning my building business as well as the football business, so I had plenty of money coming in. I played with Peter Small, he was an average player. Good enough, he’d get the ball and would hang to the wing and accept the balls that were hit square. Then he would play it inside and go so he was effective all the time because he was fast, he could motor. Adrian Thorne - he was a good player, he was a funny player. He wanted to be a champion but he was quite a bit short of being a champion. If a move broke down he’d shrug his shoulders at times and forget about it whereas everybody else would learn from it.

TSLR: What do you remember about playing at the Goldstone?

PM: The Goldstone pitch was a good pitch. The worst snag was when you got down the bottom, as it sloped from just over the halfway line down to the by-line. Nothing worse than a sloped pitch. The South Stand was more or less taken over by the wives and girlfriends who had their own area.

TSLR: Back then the South stand was terracing at the front and seating behind, if I’m correct?

PM: That’s right. and there was food, they’d make food for the wives and girlfriends and the South Stand was packed. Quite a crowd, they used to get 15,16,17 thousand. 

TSLR: The average gate in 1952/53 was 17,493 (down a thousand from the previous season). That was an average gate! 

PM: The Directors and their friends would sit in the West Stand, there wasn't much seating there then, just enough for them.The North stand was noisy, they’d bollock everybody. Unforgiving. They expected a goal with every attack.

TONY GREALISH OBITUARY

News comes to TSLR of the sad and premature demise of Albion stalwart Tony Grealish who has died aged 56 having suffered from cancer. Our thoughts and condolences go out to his family and friends.

Grealish’s story gives hope to all Sunday footballers since he was discovered by George Petchey playing on Hackney Marshes and took the short trip to Brisbane Road, Leyton to play for the team then known as just Orient. After a spell at Luton, Tony joined the Albion in the summer of 1981 in a swap deal for legendary skipper Brian Horton. His career at Brighton was always to suffer by comparison with the dynamic, driving force that was Nobby. Nevertheless, he provided sterling and reliable service as a combative midfielder in what would now be called a holding role. He played the vast majority of games in Brighton’s best ever league season, 1981-82. When the Albion won at The Dell in December of that season, the table showed us in the giddy heights of 7th place and challenging for Europe. Tony played a resolute role in the famous win at Anfield in March of that season that left us in 8th, but after he dropped to the bench towards the end of the season it may have been no coincidence that the season tailed off to a 13th place finish.

Never blessed with great pace, he relied on a decent range of passes and liked a tackle. He was the sort of player who you noticed when he wasn’t there – his reading of the game and no-nonsense approach appreciated perhaps more by team mates than by a Goldstone crowd used to flair and winning during the rise of the late 70s.

The following season was an eventful one to say the least, the proverbial rollercoaster. Grealish played most games alongside Jimmy Case and it was his selfless covering and reading of the game that allowed Case license to get forward and score crucial goals, noticeably in the FA Cup run. Tony will of course best be remembered for leading out the team at Wembley in Steve Foster’s headband, a moment that brought a tear to the eye for many Seagulls present. It gave precisely the right message to a worldwide audience, this was a football club with a soul and spirit and it set the tone for the afternoon.

Grealish played in the Division 2 team the following season through until March when his top tier wages forced a move back there with West Brom. In Danny Wilson, the club had a decent replacement.

Grealish played 45 times for Ireland and captained his country, the only Albion player ever to do so. He played alongside Mark Lawrenson, Gerry Ryan and Michael Robinson for the Republic in a team much followed by Albion fans.

Anthony Grealish 1956 - 2013

By @Seagulleo

MINIZINE NOW ONLINE (BUT STILL SOLD-OUT)

Remember that special edition minizine we were going on about? Well after we had sent them to subscribers, we sold out in about 45 minutes up at The Amex.  So tough luck if you didn't get one, we won't be printing any more.

You can, however, view it online. The excellent online magazine viewing platform Issuu have allowed us to embed TSLR049 above; you can click through right here, or just click your mouse in the middle to take you a full screen bonanza.